This quote shows something really deep about how some people’s ideas of relationships are based more on control than love. Abel wanted a "traditional" wife meaning someone obedient, someone who would serve him but at the same time, he was attracted to strong, independent women. The problem is, he didn't want to love their freedom, he wanted to own it, then lock it away. In today’s society, we still see this tension. A lot of people say they want partners who are confident, successful, and independent but when they get into a relationship, they struggle with letting that person stay free. It’s like they admire strength from a distance but want submission up close. For example, I’ve seen people in our village where a man says he supports a woman having a career, but once they’re married, he starts expecting her to quit her job, cook every meal, and revolve her life around him. The expectation doesn’t match the reality. Even personally, I’ve noticed my friends dating someone who loves how outgoing they are until jealousy creeps in, and suddenly it’s "Why are you always talking to people?" or "Why are you always out?" They fell for the spark but then tried to put it out once it was "theirs." This quote makes you realize that sometimes, people aren’t looking for a partner they’re looking for a something to control. Real love should celebrate someone's freedom, not treat it like something dangerous that has to be locked away.
Bonnette Umutoni